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In a question I recently asked but then deleted, I said that I wanted to write a letter in a sophisticated, lyrical prose style, to a person that I knew a long time ago, to express good wishes or prayer for her, to apologize for the times I was unkind to her, and to ask to form a friendship with her. After I had posted that, I received two comments, the one saying I should use clear, simple, and unambiguous language so that I will not risk seeming arrogant, and the other saying what I desired to do was my own agenda.

Reading that comment, I felt offended, because I perceived a mean-spirited tone in it, and because I did not think my purpose was selfish. Though I will admit that the desire to write in that style was my own, I did not think the purpose of the letter content-wise was selfish. That comment said that having someone read such a letter would be using them, and that the agenda was my own, and I did not understand if they were referring to style or substance.

I am posting this question, because I've received no answers to the one I posted, but comments. I considered the comments, and deleted my question, deciding that I would not write the letter because I thought my purpose selfish. But now I think I will continue awaiting answers, though I appreciate the comments I already received.

Even though I appreciate the comments I received, I must ask for clarification on the second, since I do not understand how the agenda is my own, and how the purpose of my letter bears no pertinence to the intended recipient. But I will not ask to discuss this issue much, because I know that the purpose of this site is to help with writing. So, my question remains (and I am sorry I posted again, and I ask that my post remain intact) what the appropriate style for this kind of letter is. Willing to consider all the answers, and willing to decide in light of them, I ask this.

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Write in whatever style best represents how you are in everyday life. If you use lyrical and sophisticated language in a letter, is that something you are going to be able to keep up throughout your proposed friendship?

Or is it just a defensive measure so you don't have to deal with her honestly as your own self?

I ask, because it is much easier to offer an apology by hiding behind "lyrical, sophisticated, formal language."

Problem is, "I truly beg your forgiveness, m'lady" sounds almost mocking, and if that is not your normal speaking voice, it sounds like you are playing a part and don't really mean it.

Either that, or it sounds like a coward's way out; put on airs and pretend to be a gentleman instead of your true self, so if you are rebuffed it was the pretense that was rebuffed, not you personally.

That may sound rough, but I am trying to help you. Flowery sophisticated language does not sound authentic.

If you want to sound authentic, you should take the risk of being rebuffed exactly as you are without any defensive shield. Apologize sincerely in plain language exactly as you speak to others every day, not as a character in a play. Otherwise it comes across as insincere.

That is both my writing advice, and personal advice.

Amadeus
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As I already commented under your deleted question:

If you want to write a letter to apologize and reform a friendship you should write in a simple, straightforward, clear, and unambiguous language. A "literary", "lyrical", or "sophisticated" letter is at risk of appearing arrogant and being misunderstood. I would recommend that you let a friend or family member read the letter and give you feedback [before you send it].

Ben
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Nothing wrong with writing more poetically or metaphorically than you might speak in normal conversation. Such is one advantage of composing your words carefully.

4midori
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I think writing more formally than normally might be a way to establish some emotional distance with the content. Like, subconsciously it might feel like you aren't the person you are writing about.

But, it is often more effective to internally make peace with what happened and write in a more natural tone. Writing technique should be used with the purpose of better conveying your intentions. If a metaphor helps bring your point across more clearly than use it. But, I wouldn't write poetically for the sake of being poetic.

Abdullah Arif
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In whatever style you adopt you should be comfortable and accept that it comes from you to them personally and is not something you are scripting for an actor in a play you are devising to entertain some audience of others.

civitas
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