This problem is correctly described as a "scattering" problem. Your subatomic particle, described by its wave equation, approaches the black hole with some "impact parameter" which corresponds roughly to its closest approach in the absence of the scattering effect. There is a probability that the incident particle is absorbed, and a probability distribution for its final direction if it survives the encounter. The scattering distribution could be thought of as a diffraction pattern if you could arrange a coherent source of scatterers.
You don't have to invoke quantum gravity. A femtometer-scale black hole has a mass of $10^{13}$ kilograms, so the spacetime outside the event horizon shouldn't show any Planck-scale effects.
Because it's continuum relativity, rather than an unknown quantum relativity, wave scattering is not unique to tiny black holes. An astrophysical black hole will diffract radio waves whose wavelengths are long relative to its Schwarzchild radius. Consider the 60Hz radiation emitted by your power lines (50Hz in some parts of the world), with wavelength comparable to the radius of the Earth. Stellar-mass black holes are city-sized, and would have a tiny probability of absorbing an incident photon with this wavelength.
If the momentum transfer with a scattered particle were large enough, you could extract energy from the black hole via "superelastic" scattering. Think of the mostly-correct statement that quarks can't be isolated because the energy required to separate them is more than the energy required to create a quark-antiquark pair, and imagine doing this "stretching" with the tidal interaction near a black hole. This is related to, but not the same as, Hawking radiation: Hawking radiation is the same idea, but without any incident scatterers.
Think of superelastic scattering as a way for the black hole to exchange heat with its environment. It's counterintuitive because a black hole (like any system bound by gravity) has a negative heat capacity, so it gets hotter as heat leaves it.
A nanometer-scale black hole has a Hawking temperature of about $10^{5}$ kelvin. Embedded in cold matter, such a black hole should transfer heat into the medium via superelastic scattering, speeding its Hawking evaporation. In a hot medium, on the other hand, such a black hole should absorb energy, making it more massive, colder, and a better absorber. The "equilibrium," where the black hole and the environment have the same temperature, is not stable; the black hole will, on average, grow or shrink.