DEVICE:

• Emulates human speech. Fails Turing test.
• Defective autistic firmware burned out mutant super powers. Unit discarded.
• Now in broken robot dump behind The Corporation, with Astroboy and the kid from AI.

EDUCATION:

• Valedictorian of computer science dept at #3 school
• Masters in digital security 3.8 GPA

PASSIONS:

• Riemannian hypergeometry
• Lorentzian hypergeometry
• Δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol
• Cheap cigarettes

REASON LEFT LAST EMPLOYER:

The suits saw me building a tricorder on work time. It had a little screen like Geordi's, and a REAL sensor saw invisible colors!

The gamma spectrum told the feds whats in the rusty barrels the Mafia dumped off Jersey. I minored in law enforcement. The suits gave me awards for that, my neutron embrittlement gizmo, and my skyshine shielding stuff.

I walked off the job anyway.

[![][1]][1]

IRL I have autism and AvPD (psychotic shyness). I can't look at people or speak above a whisper. I'm always paralyzed with embarrassment.

My shrink told me to ignore fear like a Vulcan because it's illuuusion, and "be friendly" with the men grownups.

Beat it, Krashenbern!
Go back to your desk! You're rejected!
But Luxi don't do Kobayashi Maru.
I exploded the bolts and ejected.

My cozy space pod:

You can change 240v streetlight power to 120v if you hack a phase wave.

CURRENT EMPLOYER:

I was rescued by kind, elderly folks who own a college boarding house, and they gave me a full-time job providing academics with all-night professional service.

I lay around naked
And sell my patootie
Because knowledge is not power
And truth is not beauty

IT'S WHAT MENTALLY-ILL HOMELESS WOMEN HAVE TO DO WHEN THEY CAN'T HOLD A JOB AND NOBODY CARES.

It's literally the only work where you can charge more if you're paralyzed with embarrassment and can't talk. Some guys will pay Big Money for that if you sell THE REAL STUFF, not role play.

Tax free.

It's terrifying but exciting, no more disgusting than working in the campus dining hall, and NOBODY HATES ME.

So I study astrophysics, do Stack Exchange...

and light joints with Force Lightning from my middle finger

Yes, 'fraid it's true. I can't tell if it's okay.

My religion.