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In character dialogue is it correct form to place commas after an action in between their dialogue or full stop periods?

For example:

"Ouch, you're blinding me!" Jacob jokes, covering his eyes and face.

"Hilarious Jacob," Elizabeth rolls her eyes as she holds the tanning reflector beneath her face, "what do you want anyway?"

or, for example:

"Ouch, you're blinding me!" Jacob jokes, covering his eyes and face.

"Hilarious Jacob." Elizabeth rolls her eyes and holds the tanning reflector beneath her face. "what do you want anyway?"

Ben
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J.D. Jenkins
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3 Answers3

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Whichever is easiest, assuming you don’t care about sticking absolutely to an official style guide.

I’ve read books that use both styles, and it was easy enough for me (a person who is fluent in English) to parse it regardless of the convention used. There is an argument to be made for both of them, but the vast majority of readers will probably not care, so don’t get too hung up on it. Absolute worst case, you can go through with a regex afterwards and replace everything.

There’s also an element of how you want it to read as well, although that’s a truly fine detail to try and resolve. By that I mean that

“So, we’re in the car now,” she said into her phone, “we’ll be back in ten minutes.”

makes it read fluidly as a single sentence, like the character is saying a single connected phrase, whereas

“So, we’re in the car now,” she said into her phone. “We’ll be back in ten minutes.”

makes it read like two separate thoughts/sentences the character is saying, even if they’re intended to be connected. Maybe that’s good, contextually; maybe it’s not what you’re looking for.

controlgroup
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I have already answered that question in an addendum to my answer to your previous question, here.

There is a convention in English that is followed in all professionally published prose today, without exception, and that is:

  1. Use a comma to introduce text:

    John said, “I am hungry.”

  2. Use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote that would have ended in a full stop:

    “I am hungry,” John said.

  3. Question marks, exclamation points, and dashes are not replaced by a comma:

    “I am hungry!” John shouted.
    “Are you hungry?” John asked.
    “I am—” John said.

This is a convention, not a law. As a writer, you are free to follow it or not. Following conventions helps readers more easily understand your text. If you deviate from them you may confuse or irritate your readers, and your writing may appear amateurish and sloppy.

Some very experienced writers deviate from conventions intentionally for a specific effect. In my opinion, there is no useful effect to be gained by not following the convention for punctuating dialogue.

Punctuating dialogue is explained on numerous websites in countless examples. Please make use of those resources to learn the basics of those conventions. Also, look at some books you own and see how they punctuate dialogue.

Beware of users on this website telling you that when you write "anything goes". No, it doesn't.

I would punctuate your example in the following way:

"Ouch, you're blinding me!" Jacob jokes, covering his eyes and face.

"Hilarious, Jacob." Elizabeth rolls her eyes as she holds the tanning reflector beneath her face. "What do you want anyway?"

The exclamation by Jacob ends in an exclamation mark. This is not replaced by a comma before the dialogue tag "Jacob jokes".

"Elizabeth rolls her eyes" is not a dialogue tag but a new sentence. Therefore her first utterance ends in a full stop. Similarly, "she holds her tanning reflector" is not a dialogue tag but a sentence that is separate from her following utterance. Therefore there is no comma at the end of "...beneath her face", but a full stop, and the first word of the second utterance is capitalized.

Also, "Hilarious, Jacob" is two clauses (the statement that "that is hilarious" and the address "Jacob"), so there is a comma between them.

Ben
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0

QUOTATIONS IN NON-FICTION

Quotations in works of non-fiction use a quotation tag as such:

  • [Source] writes, "[Quotation]."

  • [Source] says, "[Quotation]."

  • [Source] states, "[Quotation]."

NOTE: Modifications are made within the quotation using ellipsis (for omissions) and square brackets (for additions).

DIALOGUE IN FICTION

With dialogue in works of fiction, a comma (within quotation marks) precedes a dialogue tag:

  • "[Dialogue]," [dialogue tag].

A comma also precedes associated action following a dialogue tag:

  • "[Dialogue]," [dialogue tag], [action].

NOTE: The action clarifies or contextualises the dialogue tag.

Action following dialogue that is without a dialogue tag is case sensitive regardless of punctuation:

  • "[Dialogue]." [Action].

NOTE: Action is not a dialogue tag (e.g. you do not speak with your eyes).

Dialogue that is interrupted uses an em dash and breaks to the next line:

  • "[Dialogue]—"

Dialogue that precedes action is case sensitive regardless of punctuation:

  • [Action.] "[Dialogue]."

  • "[Dialogue]." [Action]. "Dialogue."

Dialogue tags preceding dialogue to which they apply are closed off:

  • "[Dialogue]," [dialogue tag]. "Dialogue."

Dialogue tags preceding dialogue to which they don't apply aren't closed off:

  • "[Dialogue]," [dialogue tag], "dialogue."

NOTE: This could be used to signify a change from normal speech to a whisper.

Rules do apply . . .

  1. When the action indicates the speaker is obvious, you don't need the dialogue tag.
  2. You only use a dialogue tag when there is ambiguity as to who is speaking or how the speaker is speaking.
  3. Punctuation for dialogue is either ' and ' or " and " relative to the country of the target audience.

Examining mistakes in your provided examples

"Ouch, you're blinding me!" Jacob jokes, covering his eyes and face.

  • the dialogue tag is obsolete because we know from the dialogue that Jacob is joking

  • the action is partially obsolete because if Jacob is covering his face, then he is also covering his eyes

Suggestion (if the speaker is ambiguous):

"Ouch, you're blinding me!" Jacob says, covering his eyes.

"Hilarious Jacob," Elizabeth rolls her eyes as she holds the tanning reflector beneath her face, "what do you want anyway?"

  • The dialogue is missing a comma

  • The dialogue tag is action, but a character cannot speak with their eyes

Suggestion (if the speaker is not ambiguous):

"Hilarious, Jacob!" Elizabeth rolls her eyes as she holds the tanning reflector beneath her face. "What do you want anyway?"

"Ouch, you're blinding me!" Jacob jokes, covering his eyes and face.

  • See prior comments

"Hilarious Jacob." Elizabeth rolls her eyes and holds the tanning reflector beneath her face. "what do you want anyway?"

  • Here you close off action but open dialogue in lowercase, which is incorrect

  • See prior comments

Del
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