How can I make my roleplay responses like a novel, while still letting the other person reply?

Question

I've been having this problem with a lot of my roleplays. Usually, my responses are 70-160 characters and around 20 words. Here are some examples:

In front of her is a waterfall, and she's sitting on the ground. She isn't really doing anything, more just listening to the waterfall. It's quite calming, for her at least.

Smiling, she takes the other woman's hand. "I'm doing great, thank you."

While these responses are okay, I would like them to be like a novel rather then just roleplay. Do you have any advice on how I can do this?

Answer 1

When you write, try to visualize being in that situation in place of your character. What would you percieve? What would you think? How would you feel?

Here is a roleplay response in your stlye about myself writing this answer:

He is sitting at the table typing an answer to a question on Writing.SE.

That doesn't really immerse you as a reader in my story. You know what I'm doing (typing an answer), but you cannot imagine what it would be like to be me.

Here is a novel type description of the same situation:

He's already a bit tired from a long day of grocery shopping, doing the laundry, cleaning, cooking, and other household chores, and now sits slumped at the table. The empty plates from the evening meal are still in front of him, but he feels too tired to get up and put them into the dishwasher. His family are at the Christmas market, and he feels a bit sad, all alone in the big house. He looks at his watch. Sixteen minutes to the news at seven. He takes a deep breath and pulls the laptop towards him. He could answer the question on Writing.SE that he saw in the morning. As he reads the question that someone calling themselves "Liria" has posted, he wonders how old Liria is and if she is a woman, as the female sounding name seems to imply. ...

I didn't get to the part where I'm writing this answer, but it is now seven and I want to watch the news. I hope you can see what I'm doing here. It is certainly not well written, but it illustrates my approach: Be your character and describe what they experience.

Answer 2

Conflict

Stories need more than elegant prose, they need conflict.

A typical modern story begins very briefly on a status quo – the situation for the protagonist is 'stable' at least on the surface – maybe not perfect, maybe not happy, but the power-dynamics are what they are and unlikely to change..., until they do.

An inciting incident disrupts that original status quo, creating an essential conflict that can't be ignored. The protagonist can't continue how things were, their stable situation is lost.

Suggestion: Quickly introduce an inciting incident that creates a conflict the protagonist can't ignore, and can't immediately solve. In story terms, this is probably THE big conflict that seems impossible.

Character Desire and Stakes

At this point, not before, we begin to learn who our protagonist really is.

Before the inciting incident, everything was settled. If they are fortunate, their daily life was pleasant and secure; if unfortunate, their daily life was not their own to choose. Either way, now that the status quo is broken they will start to question their goals and what they are meant to do.

Do they attempt to hold on to what's left of their normal life, or do they seize the opportunity to actively steer the plot? Are they cautious, or adventurous?

Suggestion: The stakes should be suggested from the situation and the character archetype, but the roleplayer should be allowed to pursue their own desires within that framework.

If the roleplayer begins as a thief who is in jail suspected of murder, the character desire is presumably to escape or appeal, and the inciting incident makes this possible. Maybe the player is presented with a jailbreak of cutthroats – out of the fryingpan into the fire.

Maybe the roleplayer is a princess forced into a political marriage, but the inciting incident casts doubt on loyalty, or the ogres are at the gate and the wedding party must defend their lives, or she goes through with the marriage only to consolidate power while she can keep it.

Present the player within their opening 'normal' (presumably the starting scenario you've all agreed to). The inciting incident breaks that normal, and should be a chance for the player to give their character agency and signal what direction appeals to them.

Character Need

One thing is certain, they can't do 'nothing'. There is an immediate need that must be handled now – a mini-conflict that demands action. The current situation is not open-ended, and the player loses agency because they are forced to react or adjust their behavior. They must respond.

A gamification way of forcing engagement is to add a 'ticking clock'. The ship is sinking and on fire, but horrified cries means people are trapped below deck. It's nothing to do with the character's longterm desires, but everything to do with what's happening right now.

Screenplays differ from novels in their requirement of 'scenes' taking place between characters at a time and location (novels can fall out of coherent time as the author drifts through stream of consciousness). I suggest your roleplay will work better with discrete 'scenes' which include other characters to help steer the story.

A classic screenwriting essay is called "Do your scenes turn?" by Robert McKee. The broad idea is that the story changes direction in every scene. Whatever your conflicts and sub-plots, the whole purpose of a scene is to witness a moment when the story 'turns'. The protagonist uncovers a truth that makes her distrust. Another character hints at an ulterior motive. Something un-predictable screws up the plan.

There are no scenes where the protagonist is allowed to enjoy the view, or just exist. There are always external forces, and specifically other characters that are de-railing the protagonist's serenity, needing an answer to this conundrum.

These short-term conflicts and character turns should be pre-scripted, and the story should steer the player toward them.

Antagonist

Antagonists are story elements that block the protagonist's progress.

In roleplay terms, they are probably story boundaries rather than mini-conflicts. The conflicts invite the player to engage, whereas antagonists need to signal they are immutable.

The ship is on fire and people screaming below decks is a conflict. It is very different if the protagonist decides to save the cat or kick the dog.... But the ship is sinking and the water is rising is pure antagonist – nothing the protagonist does can stop it.

I think it's natural to write what is appealing: the power fantasy, the sexy romance, the dark edgelord saga.... But successful stories treat their protagonists unfairly, allow them to fail, and railroad earned progress. I'm not sure that's the goal with a roleplay novel.

Probably best if your antagonists play 'fair', by somehow signaling they are structural, or world-building, or uninteresting, rather than a mystery to solve or a conflict to engage in.