I am experimenting with Haiku.
My sentiment is "I used to count the minutes until we next met, now I count the days since you left".
I first looked at something like:
Glad minutes until
Our eyes lock again, are now
Desolate days since
"Desolate" is a deliberate kigo but I'm not sure if adding a clause like ", are now" really fits the form, or can be considered a kireji since it does form a switch of focus.
I'm sure there's plenty else wrong with it, but is splitting a phrase into 2-sub-phrases common?
