Adding A Sense of Despair

Question

I am writing a novel, but I don't know how to make it seem like the hero has no hope of winning at this point. Any ideas on how to add this sense to my book?

The hero is currently overwhelmed by the forces of nature, and it is supposed to seem like he should just give up.

How can I add a feeling of no hope for my hero, before a hope is revealed?

Answer 1

Here are some things you can do to add a sense of hopelessness:

• Add a guy (or several) with guns—increase the power of the antagonistic force
• Reveal (and polish up) the master plan of the hero's foe—make it as impossible to stop as possible
• Make the antagonist more ruthless—kill some of the hero's friends...
• Deprive the hero of support towards the end so that s/he is facing off the final "boss level" all alone

However, it's more important that the reader feels there is no hope than that the hero does.

A hero that says, I don't care if it's impossible, I'm going to do it anyway will likely also get lots of reader sympathy.

What you can do, however, is to add a midpoint mirror moment where a hero that goes through a change will ask themselves "who am I? why am I this way? why am I doing this to the people around me?" while a hero that does not change (or follows a flat arc) has more of a mirror moment along the line "I'm probably going to die." (See "Write Your Novel From The Middle: A New Approach for Plotters, Pantsers and Everyone in Between" by James Scott Bell)

This happens in the middle of the story and it can be a low moment, but usually, the midpoint represents a realization that the current strategy isn't working and motivates the hero to change things up (e.g. go from reactive to proactive, go from believing in a lie to believing in a truth, realizing some important stuff about the conflict, the antagonist, themselves or all of the above...)

You can usually increase the sense of hopelessness by making the events that happen to the hero more horrible. To do that:

• Move the event physically closer to the hero (e.g. from "hearing about some horrible event" to "being the victim of a horrible event")
• Make the hero more responsible for the events
• Repeat the events more than once
• Pile on other events that might logically follow the event (divorce, getting fired, anxiety attacks, depression, other people injured, etc)
• Make the antagonist emotionally closer to the hero (e.g. from a total stranger to the hero's parent...)
• Tailor the event to the hero's personality or emotional state

(See "The Emotional Wound Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Psychological Trauma" by Becca Puglisi and Angela Ackerman)

Answer 2

Make them fight earlier in the book, and have the hero lose. But, here's the important part: have him lose very, very, very badly. Naturally, if he lost so horribly at first, how could he end up winning?

Then, when the rematch happens, have him start out losing again. Once again, very, very, badly losing. Make him nearly die. Make sure this is the climax.

And then let him come back. Slightly. One dodge, one punch, then fifty more from his opposition. Until it seems like his punch was a fluke and he'll never land another. Then, he does. Enough of a punch, that his opponent is left stunned, long enough for your hero to land another. And another. Until he gets the miraculous win.

Also, before the fight, you can do some things. Make it be an already bad day, in some way. I'm sure you can find something, his friend's dog dies or so. That'll certainly bring his confidence down.

Answer 3

Cruel To Be Kind:

There are lots of ways to make it seem like your hero is going to fail, both to him, and to the audience. But readers expect the hero to win, and the hero is supposed to be plucky and persevere. To get past these expectations, you need to write like the story is about the hero failing.

• The hero is foreshadowed to fail: Set the hero up to fail. Maybe there's a prophesy (false) that seems to predict the hero failing, or dying (the oracle predicting Neo ISN'T "the one."). Perhaps the story is set up so it looks like the main character will really be just a supporting character to the "true" hero, with the story told from their perspective, and the "true" hero fails (leaving the main character to step up and save the day). Or you have the hero seemingly doomed by his character flaws, while you present the reader with an alternative narrative about how they expect the story will turn out.
• The Character seems to fail: Maybe the Nazgûl capture the ring of power that absolutely must not fall into Sauron's hands and give it to Sauron. Now you have to come up with a plausible alternative to victory that doesn't just look like a deus ex machina. Or maybe Thanos gets the infinity stones and kills half of all life in the universe, and the sequel is miraculously reversing defeat.
• The character ACTUALLY fails: The character spends the story trying to save his home city from destruction, and gets to watch as his home burns to the ground. Now the hero must come up with a new goal that redeems their failure. Or the villain conquers the kingdom and murders the rightful king, and the hero must now compromise their integrity to save the people and things they care about by serving the villain. In this case, you may need to reset the expectations of the story. Trent the transformer seeks to overthrow the kingdom of Xanth, and the hero tries to fight him, but in the end Trent is king and we realize that the kingdom needs a powerful wizard to rule it.
• The actual goal is different from the apparent one: The story revolves around breaking into a bank to get the money the hero needs to achieve goal X. The bank job fails publicly, but the heroic Robin Hood story inspires the people to rise up against their evil corporate overlords. The goal or a greater one is achieved by a completely alternative route.

There can also be more specific elements that raise doubt in the reader's mind about the way the story will turn out.

• Ambiguous moral: Your story is not black and white. The hero is a little scummy, and the the villain winning wouldn't be the end of the world.
• The character seems to need to compromise their integrity or ethics to achieve the goal. Okay, yes, this is a huge stereotype. They seem to abandon their goal to preserve their integrity, and the act of keeping their integrity leads to ultimate victory (the villain having a change of heart, or an investor who values ethics saving the hero's business despite the character not robbing the bank to get the needed money).
• Pyrrhic Victory: The character is trying to save people and those people die one at a time. While the final goal is achieved, the story seems to be about the losses.
• The hero loses hope: Your hero is convinced they have or are failing, and abandon their quest to try and save themselves or achieve a lesser goal (saving their family?). But wait! The opportunity to save the world once more presents itself, and the hero must give up on their side-quest (suffering personal loss) for the chance to achieve the ultimate goal.
• The supporting characters lose hope: If Dumbledore tells Harry Potter that Voldemort is going to win and he needs to flee, then the reader will see the strong, seemingly infallible support character give up hope and abandon the main goal. The hero may keep trying, but everyone starts doubting there is any chance of success.
• Raise doubts about the goal: If Arnold Schwarzenegger seems like he really is having a psychotic break and making up the whole thing in his head, maybe the story in Total Recall is different than the audience thinks. Or perhaps the hero is seeking revenge, and we begin to doubt that all the people dying (including innocents) is worth it.