How can I write an engaging story?

Question

I am writing about this girl who's had a hard life for the past eight years, and she's moving to Dallas now. At Dallas, she gets enrolled in a new school, all in the first chapter. Then, she makes friends and does a student council voting project at her school in the third, and then, she finishes the year by doing a theatre arts performance. The thing is that I don't know how to make the story interesting. My family and friends have read the story, but it doesn't appear to grab any attention.

Answer 1

Kurt Vonnegut said characters should want something — even if it is just glass a water.

When characters want something, and have a reason for wanting that something, they are more imaginable. This is because we empathize with people wanting something. We understand that need.

Then, you need decide what is preventing that character from getting what they want. This is conflict, and is what makes stories engaging. That is because we can project ourselves into the character’s situation.

The more subtle the want and reason for the want, the harder it is to write well. The same goes for the element of conflict. Small conflicts with no stakes are harder to make interesting, than bigger conflicts with substantial conflicts.

As you learn to be a better writer, then your conflicts can be smaller and more subtle, as can be the wants and reasons for the want. So start with something big and drastic, and you’ll find it easier to write.

Answer 2

For plot driven ("popular" or "genre") fiction you need:

1. Some event that turns your protagonist's world upside down.
2. Your protagonist must have a goal that they are passionate about.
3. Someone or something must stand in the way of reaching that goal (the so-called antagonist).
4. Your protagonist must have a flaw.
5. Your protagonist must be internally torn about her goal or her methods of reaching it or the antagonist.
6. The antagonist must be likeable and understandable in part (i.e. both the protagonist and antagonist are morally "grey").
7. There are several turns of events on the was towards the goal were it seems as if your protagonist reaches it only to be thwarted in the last moment.

For character driven ("literary") fiction you need:

1. A complex character
2. on a quest for self-realization
3. struggling with contemporary issues and
4. inner (psychological) obstacles.

And you can combine the two.

Answer 3

Let's breakdown what we know about your story:

I am writing about this girl who's had a hard life for the past eight years, and she's moving to Dallas now. At Dallas, she gets enrolled in a new school, all in the first chapter. Then, she makes friends and does a student council voting project at her school in the third, and then, she finishes the year by doing a theatre arts performance.

The Setting

Your setting is a high school social scene. The highlights of the story center on the main character's involvement in extracurricular (social) activities.

The setting is universal in that a reader does not need exposition, worldbuilding, or a prolog to understand 'why things are this way'.

The Main Character

Your main character starts as an outsider, makes friends and chooses alliances, and ultimately becomes the focus of attention in a performance.

The implied character development is about her status within this social scene.

The Conflict

??? there is low-hanging fruit implied from the situation: a teenager becomes popular. However, we get no sense of what (if anything) prevents this occurring anyway – if the outcome is inevitable, there is no conflict.

We learn that she had a hard time before the story started – but that conflict is not part of this story. It's unclear how this impacts the MC's development now that the conflict has been removed and she has a fresh start.

Maybe the conflict is discovering what she wants, now that she has the opportunity to re-invent. She doesn't set out to be popular, but it sort of happens along the way as she is able to assert herself and grow as a person.

Reader Expectations

Rather than criticize your story for appearing to be light on conflict, I'm going to poke at reader expectations.

Your story is not about THE CHOSEN ONE who battles in an unfair deathsport to save her family and ultimately change the world's power structure – like every YA novel ever.

Casual readers (aka 'friends and family') may not understand what is expected of them when the conflict and main character are not cartoonishly presented as the most-est important-est teenager in the whole world constantly up to their eyeballs in centuries of intrigue (while simulataniously being the only person on the planet who needs the conflict explained to them because they are uniquely ignorant to things every other character knows), while discovering their Mary Sue superpowers that give them plot-armor against an unconquerable super-dooper-villain mastermind that has already defeated all challengers.

(Tag your favorite story franchise if you've heard this plot before)

Readers are like kids who want a Happy Meal™ at McDonalds. A Happy Meal is trash fast-food, but it's what they know and what they want.

As Writer, you are the adult that decides how much ketchup they can smear on their french fries, or if you want to indulge them with fast-food at all.

Writers write for all sorts of reasons, most are personal. No one writes to impress friends and family, we all get disillusioned on that one.

Adding Conflict

Your story is about a regular person (an everywoman/underdog) who finds her place within a social group. Her 'challenge' (if not quite a 'conflict') is that she must create her own worth within this scene.

I'm not clear on her roll in the 'student council voting project'. Is she supporting someone else? Is she a candidate? Is this a 'win' or a 'setback' for her social climb? Does she change minds? Does she create enemies?

I'm not trying to write your second draft, but it's natural to 'juice up' some of the conflict once the bones of the story are in place. There are plenty of opportunities to inject antagonists all along the way – not uber-villains and world-destruction, but antagonists that fit the scope of this story:

Act 1

• As an outsider, she does not have the support of a friend-network. The friends she had are out of reach.
• Having just moved, her family also lacks the established foundation that could help make up for her low status.
• She may make the 'wrong' friends early on, based on the type of problematic friends she had before.
• the 'right' friends may not be the obvious choices (she doesn't recognize their value), and they don't pursue her or flatter her.
• If she wants to re-invent, she will make naive choices (mistakes) about how she presents herself.
• If she does not want to re-invent, she will resist the change and attempt to re-create what she had before (unsuccessfully).

Act 2

• The student election confronts her with something she wants which is presumably out of reach.
• convincing other students to vote her way gives an opportunity for the classic 'Try/Fail cycle'. She makes mistakes but adapts her technique.
• Some of her choices are in-authentic, as she copies what works for others.
• There is a lingering threat that her bad past will be exposed, which may lead to more in-authentic choices (digging a hole).
• She may make bad alliances with the wrong people because she feels it will get her closer to her goal.
• Ultimately what she gets is not exactly how she imagined it, or not what she wanted at all (like losing the election).

Act 3

• After the rough start in Act 1, and the compromises in Act 2, she has a 3rd chance to re-invent but it's potentially harder now because there are established antagonists and known rivalries organized against her.
• Somehow she is still the social 'outsider', and needs to go back to square-one, making new friends and alliances but authentically this time.
• She needs to un-learn some of the Act 1 behavior that has been holding her back.
• She starts to see her old life in a different light, and gains an understanding of why they had to move/what made her old life bad/sympathy for her parents' decision.
• An antagonist that caused her to fail in the 2nd act comes up again, but now her approach is different because things that use to matter don't anymore.
• She has a change of heart about the new social group, and realizes who are her 'good' friends and who are the 'bad' friends.
• The performance is a 'win' because she connects authentically with many good people, and also realizes the bad people weren't ever going to support her. It's not a world-shattering toppling of governments, instead it's a sign that she has found her new status quo.

Keeping the Reader Interested

What makes a story interesting, as opposed to just a list of events that happen, is conflict. Resolving that conflict gives the story a satisfying conclusion.

A protagonist isn't the champion-hero who punches DarthVoldemort in the face, it's the character who comes to realize what the conflict is really about and navigates their way through it. They are our avatar with the 1st-hand view, experiencing every setback and being slapped down. Protagonists have the stakes because the outcome will personally affect them. They navigate through this minefield of antagonists by stepping on the mines, then experience character development and change.

(Unless it's a Happy Meal™, then the story ends after the fries are gone and a cheap plastic toy is unwrapped as the prize.... Or pick your own metaphor.)

The far side of not enough conflict is too much conflict. There are many examples in episodic television where a conflict is contrived just to make the story interesting – characters argue for no reason, or the classic 'idiot plot' that requires multiple characters to never compare notes. Your story isn't the type that needs this kind of razzle-dazzle just to keep the plot going..., but to be clear: too much conflict is more commercial than not enough conflict. Readers generally prefer 'wtf is even happening' over being bored.

Write your second draft with an eye for juicing up the antagonists that are already there, and allow your main character to make lots of bad choices before the wheels fall off their wagon. It will be all the more satisfying when they overcome these obstacles (many of their own making) and finally arrive at their new status quo.

(And don't be too hard on your family for not being able to give you the feedback you need to improve your writing. Beta reading is a skill that has to be learned.)