0

I'm trying to describe the landscape of a dystopian city but I'm getting tripped up.

"The city is rather a hellish sight: the endless, monotonous rows of buildings are lit up by industrial powerhouses spewing flames into a murky night sky."

Any help would be appreciated, thanks

etchoc
  • 3
  • 1
  • 1
    Hi ethcoc, welcome to writing.se! Take the [tour] and visit the [help] to learn about the cite. Unfortunately questions about rephrasing specific sentences are off-topic here as they are unlikely to help other writers. Therefore this question will be closed. If you [edit] it to a more general "how to keep descriptive sentences short in creative writing?" or similar it may get reopened. But you would need to be careful not to make the question too broad. Good luck and happy writing! – linksassin Oct 31 '19 at 02:01
  • There are at least 2 sentences in there. – dolphin_of_france Oct 31 '19 at 14:53
  • Don't get hung up on it right now. Write first, edit later. The more you write a find your voice, the better you will be at fixing these sort of sentences. As-is, it is 90% passable, so I wouldn't feel completely embarrassed handing it to an editor. – SirenKing Nov 02 '19 at 04:25

1 Answers1

0

The City, endless rows of monotonous buildings back lit by the flames of industry spewing acrid murk into the starless night sky... a glimpse into hell itself.

nijineko
  • 510
  • 2
  • 7