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I will explain my question here. Please, help a fellow writer.

  1. I am doing a PhD and my supervisor is telling me that I do not know how to write. I have read many books on academic writing, but somehow I cannot make my writing better. I wrote many many pages, but nothing "is worth saving for the dissertation"(her words).

  2. I wish I could write one good paragraph and from there I would be able to write others. I have been studying sentences, paragraphs, essays etc... but I do not know how to put these elements together properly.

  3. I was so happy about writing. I could write all day long. I did not have any problems with "what to write" about until I started working with this professor. Now the thought of writing makes me sick.

  4. I want to improve and do something about it. Yet, nothing seems to work and my supervisor is always humiliating me. In a sense, I cannot complain about it with my department because she is right about my writing and they may want to let me go. I have no clue what I should do next.

  5. My field is philosophy. In this field, I really need to write well and it is what I want the most.

Thank you so much.

madsen1111
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    Hi, and welcome to Stack Exchange. SE is not like other sites. We are a question-and-answer site, not a discussion board. Unfortunately we can't help you here. Clearly you and your supervisor have a disconnect. You may want to talk to the ombudsperson at your school, a guidance counselor, or an English professor; failing that, you could hire an editor or create an account at Critique Circle to find someone to help you. I wish you luck, but your question is off-topic here and will be closed. – Lauren-Clear-Monica-Ipsum May 30 '18 at 22:43
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    So far, only one person is complaining about the quality of your writing (unfortunately, the person that, other than you, has the most power over your life right now). Perhaps they, for some strange reason, have it in for you. Get your writing independently reviewed by another person knowledgeable in your field. Additionally, has your professor specifically told you what is wrong with your writing? – John Doe May 30 '18 at 23:27
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    Your writing is perfectly understandable to me. So in that respect, you can already “write paragraphs.” Surely your supervisor has something a bit more precise/constructive to say than, “Nothing is worth saving”? –  May 31 '18 at 00:06
  • Maybe it is not your writing that needs improvement but the understanding of your supervisor... – Totumus Maximus May 31 '18 at 07:49
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    If I were in your position I would set up an appointment with the supervisor to seek clarification. I would ask her for an example (in your writing) of a particularly bad (in her opinion) paragraph and ask her to go through it line by line highlighting what is wrong (in her opinion) and then get her to suggest a better way to write it. In this way you will be left with a paragraph that you can use as a template and an insight into your supervisor's vision of what is wrong/right. Bear in mind that your supervisor may not be correct but, regardless, humility will enable you both to move forward. – robertcday May 31 '18 at 08:23
  • Aside from the practical implications of such feedback from your instructor, the real question is, do you agree? The problem with this question is that it could be taken as "how do deal with your instructor," rather than how to write well. Perhaps you should give an example of a paragraph and ask how it could be improved? – Jason Bassford May 31 '18 at 09:26
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    @JasonBassford Requests to rephrase something, or requests for proofreading or critique, are all off topic on Writing SE. Yes, we allow using own passages of text as examples, but the question needs to be on topic and ideally specific enough to be answerable even without that. – user May 31 '18 at 11:12
  • @MichaelKjörling Sorry, I wasn't suggesting proofreading. But it's difficult to address the question of how to write a paragraph well without a clear example that shows what the problem might actually be. I think an example would demonstrate any actual issue and focus answers on something specific. – Jason Bassford May 31 '18 at 14:30
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    @JasonBassford Just because a question uses a portion of someone's writing doesn't necessarily by itself make the question off topic; however, as I said, the question needs to be on topic (just not necessarily specific enough to be answerable) even in the absence of such an example. It's not always a clear-cut line what counts as merely an example for illustration and what's more about e.g. a rephrase request; however, I definitely agree that we'd need something to work with. – user May 31 '18 at 14:35
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    @MichaelKjörling For example, at least half of the responses here seem to question the validity of the claim that the writing is actually bad. If it's not bad, then a more appropriate forum for help on how to deal with the instructor would be something like https://academia.stackexchange.com/. – Jason Bassford May 31 '18 at 14:42
  • Please don't take your supervisor's feedback personally, or take it as definitive on your writing in general. As someone who did undergrad and upper level philosophy work, I can tell you (a) that academic philosophical writing is its own beast and (b) that many people in the field take an almost perverse pleasure in breaking down the concepts and/or writing of others. – Chris Sunami May 31 '18 at 14:48
  • The question is too broad without knowing what specific feedback you received. Try and ignore the insults/value judgements your advisor gave you and rephrase the question, if you can, to ask more specific questions. I can't tell if your professor doesn't like your ideas (which would seem pertinent in philosophy), your method of argument, or your grasp of the English language (or all 3). I can't help you if you can't be specific. So lets start there: Be More Specific in your writing. (Closed until edit makes answerable). Its clear generic grade-level instruction is not useful. – Kirk May 31 '18 at 14:58

4 Answers4

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This has nothing to do with writing a "perfect" paragraph, or even with your writing skills in general. It is about the specific requirements of your chosen field, academic philosophy --which is a unique form of writing. Therefore, please let go of your sense that this is a referendum on either you or your writing skills, and don't let it ruin your enjoyment of ordinary writing. There are many writers acclaimed in the world of academic philosophy could absolutely who could never write a single sentence that would interest a mainstream audience (and, vice versa).

It is also the case that philosophers are highly opinionated, and take their opinions as definitive, even when they are idiosyncratic. This means that what your supervisor is really asking is for you to write like she does, which may or may not be like anyone else in philosophy writes. That does not mean she is wrong or that you don't have to do it, but understand that you are matching a particular person's tastes, not meeting a universal standard.

Given that, you want to avoid experiencing this as a general critique, and look for specifics. The usual asks for a philosophical piece have to do with overall structure and general intellectual rigor, not the details of the expression. If, however, you feel confident this is about the details of your writing, then you need to go to your supervisor directly and ask her to take you through an excerpt of your writing and demonstrate exactly what is wrong and how it needs to be changed. Don't expect to agree with her changes, just learn the pattern behind them and how to follow it. I think you'll find that the real problem is not that you can't write, it's that you're having trouble suppressing your own instincts in favor of hers. Just understand it's nothing more than a hoop you have to jump through, and you'll feel better about it.

Chris Sunami
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Can you tell us the field?

I suggest patterning off an established work you wish to emulate. Perhaps one of your advisor's works - take that and pattern (not copy) from it. Engage the analytical part of your mind. For example, if I were to pattern off your question I would write something with an opening and closing sentence. There would be four points within the body: big picture, personal goal, back story, and reiteration of personal goal.

It is not uncommon for academics to be poor managers. Academics have very few requirements (and no training or education beforehand) when it comes to personnel. Your situation is not unusual - take heart. You'll survive. My first paper was horrific. I did not pattern off anything. I tried to free write it, bad idea. I learned. You will learn, I promise.

Do not try to reinvent the wheel - Find something written by your advisor (or similar) and break it down, then apply your knowledge of your work to that structure.

SFWriter
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Create a summary of what you intend to write, formatted as a series of nested bullet points. The deepest bullet points are "single ideas" you can turn into a paragraph. When you do so, try to make the paragraph's topic especially clear in the first and last sentence, and use the rest to defend or develop what you're saying. Since you're doing philosophy. some paragraphs will summarise existing literature, some will make clear what you offer that's new, some will offer arguments and counterarguments, and so on; make sure you know what kind of paragraph each one is.

J.G.
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You have structured a well-worded question here and I imagine you put a lot more energy and effort into the writing of your dissertation, so I find it hard to believe that your writing is so bad that not one single paragraph is 'worth saving'.

We see some shockingly-written questions on here and this isn't one of them.

I'm going to assume that if you've studied essay writing and understand the structure of dissertations, that you're following that structure with thesis statements, topic sentences, concluding statements and so on, and that the problem is not with structure but the writing itself.

In which case, there are two possibilities here:

  1. She is right and your writing is terrible. In which case, find someone you trust who has already completed a philosophy PhD with outstanding marks and get them to read your work and provide brutally honest feedback on what's wrong with your writing style (and perhaps structure). If they will work with you, you can learn from that feedback and not make the same mistakes again. It seems to me that she is not going to help you get better (and I question what use she is as a supervisor in that case) so you need to find someone who will.

  2. There's nothing wrong with your writing and she has it in for you. In which case, it's a bit underhanded, but you could get the same trusted colleague to rewrite a few of your pages and submit those to her as if it's your work. If she still says it's terrible, you'll know the problem isn't with your writing, it's with her.

Remember, the bad stuff is easier to believe, but it's not necessarily true. The fact that she isn't helping you and has driven you to the point where even the idea of writing makes you feel sick, suggests to me that she should not be a PhD supervisor and that's where the problem lies.

But you need to know the truth: is your writing terrible or is she terrible?

Option 2 is underhanded but it will get you straight to the heart of the matter.

GGx
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