Simply put, if curvature invariants diverge there is a singularity. In general, when physicists say "here is a singularity theorem", they really mean "there is a geodesic incompleteness" in this spacetime. Remember that solutions to the field equations are manifolds $(M , g)$ where the metric $g$ is found from the field equations, which should clear the "somehow" part of your question. Geodesic incompleteness is a very well understood thing and can be predicted with fairly straightforward arguments with focusing of null rays and energy conditions. And no, the Kretschmann scalar can be found without the need of a software. It is just based on the Riemann tensor, so anything like $R_{abcd}R^{abcd}$, $R_{ab}R^{ab}$, or whatever other curvature invariants you can cook up can be found fairly simply. Or use a software, your wish.
Metric tensors represent black holes because they contain terms that show a curvature invariant blow up. If your metric is of the form $ds^{2}=-dt^{2}f(r)+d\mathbf{x}^{2}g(r)$ where either $f$ or $g$ possess some sort of a pole at $r=0$ or whatever, you can guess the Riemann tensor and subsequent scalar curvatures have some sort of a corresponding pole or singularity as well. Geodesic incompleteness is just this feature where some parameter $\tau $ cannot be extended beyond a certain geodesic distance; although a Minkowski spacetime with $r=0$ deleted is still geodesically incomplete without an actual curvature singularity, but this is a mathematical singularity and not a physical one.
Tl;dr: metric terms tell you which curvature invariants blow up. It isn't that hard, take Schwarzschild metric, find the Christoffel symbols and subsequent curvature terms and see for yourself.