The equation $dS=\frac{dQ}{T}+dS_\mathrm{irr}$ is a great example of combining two aspects of entropy:
Entropy is the "stuff" that shifts upon heat transfer.
When we look at ways to transfer energy (heat transfer, work, mass transfer), we see a driving force expressed as an unevenness in some intensive property, paired with a driven shift in the conjugate extensive property. The product of each conjugate pair has units of energy. A list of all the relevant conjugate pairs makes up the fundamental relation for the problem of interest.
As an example, the driving force in pressure–expansion work is some mismatch in pressure, and the result is a shift in volume that tends to eliminate the pressure difference. The driving force in electrostatic work is an electric field, and the result is an acceleration of charge carriers that tends to eliminate that field. The driving force in diffusion is a concentration difference (more precisely, a chemical potential difference), and the result is mass transport that tends to eliminate this difference.
Temperature differences drive heat transfer. So what is the conjugate to temperature in this framework? Entropy, as it turns out. When one object conductively heats another, for instance, the hotter object loses entropy, and the colder object gains it.
Entropy is also generated whenever energy moves down a gradient, including gradients associated with work and mass transfer, as well as heat transfer. Entropy quantifies the number of microstates consistent with a given macrostate we can measure, and since we tend to more often see scenarios with more ways of occurring, we tend to see an increasing total entropy, regardless of the process or combination of processes.
So if we're examining how entropy might change in a system, we should consider (1) whether the system is undergoing heat transfer, and incorporate the associated entropy transfer along a reversible path, and (2) whether an irreversible process of any type is occurring, and what is the associated entropy increase. This is expressed as the above equation.
How do we consolidate the two aspects? One interpretation possibly useful to you is that entropy represents a lack of information. In a crystal very near 0 K, knowledge of the position of one atom tells us nearly all we need to know about the position of every other atom. This is a low-entropy state. With heating, the atomic movement increases, and some atoms may hop out of place. In this higher-entropy state, we know less about the atomic positions.
When one object heats another, as a larger number of rapidly moving particles in the hotter object encounter and interact with a smaller number in the colder object, the distribution of particle energies contracts in the former and expands in the latter. (You could also express this as a larger and smaller number of slow-moving particles in the colder and hotter objects, respectively; the point is that one distribution, such as a Boltzmann distribution, is encountering a different distribution, with the resulting energy exchanges between particles being mediated by energy conservation.) We now have a better grasp on the possible positions and velocities of the cooled object, in the sense that a certain range is more likely to contain more of them. This is one way to link the entropy shift in heat transfer with entropy generation in all spontaneous processes.
When we discuss equalization of the chemical potential at equilibrium, we're referring to the tendency of the Gibbs free energy to be minimized for systems in thermal and mechanical contact with their surroundings, as the chemical potential is just the partial molar Gibbs free energy. This also brings in both aspects of entropy mentioned above, as (1) strong bonding (as in low-enthalpy condensed matter) exothermally heats the rest of the universe and thus transfers entropy to it, but (2) minimal bonding (as in gases) provides the opportunity for many molecular arrangements. The Gibbs free energy, which contains both the enthalpy and the entropy, is our way of modeling how Nature balances these two counteracting tendencies.
I think this touches on most of the points of your question and could be useful in moving forward. Please let me know what's unclear.
Edit: Bob D made a good point that it's confusing to specify both "reversible" and "irreversible" in the same equation. I've removed the "rev" subscript.