There's three things of some relevance here.
- The first is tensile strength and compressive strength which is how much force it takes to
break something. High tensile strength makes a material strong: A material that takes a lot of force to break.
- Then there is stiffness which is how much force it takes to achieve
a particular amount of deflection in something.
- With #2 and #3, you get the deflection required to break something. I don't know of a term for this so I will just call it the ultimate deflection in this post.
Then there is hardness which (to me at least) is difficult to quantify. One definition is possibly the resistance to local deformation which makes it abrasion resistant and difficult to scratch. It might sound like stiffness, but it's not.
It is well known diamonds are hard. However, in terms of breaking something, hardness is not involved.
You can get materials with enormous amounts of ultimate deflection. That is, they can deflect a great deal without breaking; Like a rubber band. But obviously, a rubber band has low stiffness because it does not take a lot of force to achieve any particular deflection. Nor does it have very high strength because it does not take a lot of force to break.
Then you have materials like steel which have high strength and stiffness. But, for how much force it takes to bend to break, steel can deflect quite a lot before actually breaking. That makes it tough and able to absorb lots of energy which is different than being able to absorb a lot of force.
Then you have materials like diamond which are even more stiff than steel and take even more force to achieve a particular deflection, but cannot deflect all that much before breaking. It is possible for the reduced ultimate deflection to outweigh stiffness to result in a material with lower breaking strength.
Then you have carbon fiber which takes even more force to break than steel and takes even more force to achieve a particular deflection than steel. Yet, the deflection it breaks at is less than steel. So it is stronger than steel, yet comparatively brittle and less able to absorb large amounts of energy. But still enough toughness to be useful for structural purposes.
Some scenarios are forced limited such as slowly applying force like with diamond anvils. In that case, as long as you load up the material slowly, ensuring to never exceed the strength it can ultimately support a lot more force than a comparable material
However, other scenarios are energy limited, such as impacts. An impact involves changes in momentum and rapid accelerations (or decelerations if you will) and aren't limited by force as much as they are limited by the kinetic energy involved which needs to be dissipated. These scenarios can easily generate forces higher than what can be supported by a material with high strength that deflect enough to absorb the energy. Being able to deflect spreads out the deceleration over time which reduces the peak forces involved in the collisions.