When physicists talk about "particles", they mean that the size of an (extended) object doesn't matter for the level of the description they have chosen. In that case we can simplify the full dynamics of the object to the movement of its center of mass.
We can, for instance, treat planets as "particles", when we calculate their orbits around the sun, but we wouldn't treat the Earth and the Moon as particles when we are talking about the tides and the tidal lock of the Moon to the Earth.
It is therefor important to keep in mind that calling and treating a physical object, no matter what its actual size is, as a particle is a choice at the level of an approximating description, it's not a fundamental property of the object itself.
Quantum mechanics complicates things somewhat because "the center of mass" is not a well defined concept any longer, so the classical mechanics treatment that came with the "particle" approximation, is gone. One can still apply the concept that objects that behave like as if they are "small enough" can be treated without taking their size into account.
For atomic physics this means that the size of the nucleus can be neglected (in most cases) and for high energy physics, so far, the electron appears as an internally structure-less object, that can also be treated without having to worry about another length (and with that another energy) scale.
Having said this, "elementary particles" are actually quanta, i.e. they are measurements on a quantum field. So when we are saying that photons and electrons are "point particles", what we are really talking about is that the quantum fields of the standard model are being described as continuous fields that have well defined values (even if they are not scalars) over a continuous coordinate space. Whether this is ultimately "true" is questionable, but at this point no physical measurement has invalidated this hypothesis, so we continue working with it (out of convenience and because we don't know what to replace it with).