While doing some on-the-side reading, I stumbled across this question: Do two beams of light attract each other in general theory of relativity?. Great question and a great, easily understandable answer. In short, it explains that General Relativity allows photons/beams of light to gravitationally attract other things. It mentions a very important and well known phenomenon; that the deflection of light passing through the gravitational field of a massive particle is twice that predicted by Newtonian Gravitation. It also mentions and links to a wonderful article that shows that light beams travelling anti-parallel are deflected by each other's gravitation by four times what is predicted by Newtonian methods.
The Newtonian predictions were able to be made because of the commonly accepted gravitational mass for a photon, which effectively uses Einstein's $E=mc^2$ and Planck's $E=h f$ to get $m=h f/c^2$. Not a bad strategy.
My question is why we choose to equate the photon's gravitational mass with a hypothetical particle's rest mass? Given that the total energy of a photon (if you rescale the potential energy to 0) can be written as: $$Total~Energy=Kinetic~Energy+Rest~Energy$$ And given that it is nice to set the rest energy of our photon to $0$. Why then should we choose the mass on which to base the predictions using Newtonian Gravity to be a rest mass? Especially when Newtonian physics provides an adequate way of obtaining mass from kinetic energy (as long as that mass is used only in other Newtonian physics). I mean, why can we not say the following for purely Newtonian calculations: $$E=hf,~~K=\frac{1}{2}mv^2,~~Rest~Energy=E_o=0$$ $$\therefore hf=\frac{1}{2}mv^2\rightarrow m=2hf/v^2=2hf/c^2$$ This effectively doubles the gravitational mass of a light beam without altering the actual momentum of it. When predicting the deflection of a beam due to a massive particle, this would make the force of Newtonian gravitation twice as large and the fact that momentum didn't change means the deflection prediction would be twice as large. For the deflection of two antiparallel beams, since the gravitational masses of both are doubled, this would quadruple the force of attraction again without modifying each beam's momentum, making the Newtonian prediction four times that compared to using mass from the rest energy equation. Both of these new predictions are what is shown to actually happen.
Understandably, if this were a good and valid idea, it would have been used or realized a long time ago. My question is centred around understanding why the rest mass equation must be used; I am not trying to say what has been done is wrong, just trying to understand why it makes sense.