I am trying to understand, in general, the common obstacles to reaching a negotiated or mediated divorce settlement and ways to avoid or deal with those obstacles. Any thoughts or resources to suggest?
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Obstacle #1: Emotion
Family law issues are wrought with emotion. This clouds judgment and reasoning capacity. This is the biggest obstacle in my experience.
Obstacle #2: Punishment motive
Related to obstacle #1, this is a very specific desire of one party to "punish" the other for perceived past wrongs.
Obstacle #3: Lack of prioritizing children's interests
Many issues can be resolved if both parties take an objective look at what's in the best interest of the children and act accordingly. Unfortunately, this doesn't happen all too often.
Recommendations
My recommendations to you are as follows.
- Both parties should hire an attorney.
- The parties should jointly hire a professional mediator who has a long track record and specializes in mediating family law matters.
- Leave the emotions out of it and look out for the best interests of the children first.
- Be wary of attorneys who seek to push emotional hot button issues.
Alexanne Senger
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As someone who has been through that mill...adopt a philosophy of the "shoe on the other foot."
Look objectively at what your "ask" is, and think about if that is something you would readily concede to the other side. If it is, bravo, and good luck, hold your head high and give it a shot.
dwoz
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If both parties honor their marriage vows, there will not be a divorce.
If either party honors their marriage vows, the divorce attorneys will have a hard time "reaching a negotiated or mediated divorce settlement".
Jasper
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