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We are in Germany. Both of us, and also our baby (2 months old) are the citizen of another (EU) country.

Recently she became very crazy, and I don't know, what to do.

  1. She does not eat. The case is serious, she lost about ten kg in the last weeks.
  2. She is very agressive, (unfairly) critical about everything.
  3. She continously threats me by divorce, without specifying a reason.

I think, she might have post-natal depression, caused by that she can not sleep more than 4 hours at once since months. As our baby grows, this problem would probably solve itself, but how to avoid until that, she does some irrecoverable?

I am thinking on things like these:

  1. She might harm the baby.
  2. She might get self-harming or more bad.
  3. She might simply pack and go back to home.
  4. She can also file for divorce, either by Germany or by home (if she does it, she will probably first go home, and then file for divorce there).

I am thinking on, that I could call some "Jugendschutz"-thing (state agency for youth protection). However, if I do that, they will either take away our baby, or they will do nothing. In both cases, my wife will likely divorce me.

Until our baby will be able to sleep 8 hours at night, it would take at least months. My family probably won't survive that.

What to do?

Gray Sheep
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1 Answers1

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Before calling Jugendschutz, call your wife's primary care physician or pediatrician (baby's doctor) and tell them what's happening. The pediatrician in particular should have contacts to support groups, etc. The doctor may also decide that she needs to go on medication.

If she's breastfeeding, ask her to stop and go to formula. Either of you can prep the overnight bottles in the evening so it's faster. You take the middle of night feedings for a while.

If she doesn't want to stop, see if she can pump extra during the day so that you can bottle feed overnight. This is to try to allow her to sleep longer. I don't know if it will work. We used formula with our twins and it made things a lot easier for us. Did they have more illnesses? Maybe. But only one or two compared to friends' kids who were breastfed.

mkennedy
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