In short, I need to nuke it from orbit (Which seems to be the preferred method)
But how? Is there a package I can use, or do I just rm -rf / like a noob?
I'll point out now that rm -rf / does very Little damage do a chunk of Linux, so probably is more of a Missile strike than nuke.
THIS QUESTION WILL BE WIKI'D WHEN I GET TO IT. So, post all the crazy and fun methods you have.