For some reason the LiveUSB I got over here seems to be laughing at me and it won't let me install Ubuntu, so is there a way to install it straight from Windows to an external hard drive?
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I recommend you to use Etcher, I've faced a lot of problems while installing (or after) when I used Rufus or LiveUSB.
And also, make sure to choose UEFI mode and not Legacy when you enter the boot menu (where you select "USB").