It's been some time since you posted that question. Maybe you've moved on, or found the answer ?
Anyway, I'm currently around those part myself. I haven't broken through yet, and would be delighted to hear from somewhat who has.
From what I gather, a lot of issues revolve around the question wether the X11 server is listening to TCP on port 6000. Answers vary with flavors and versions of Ubuntu, specially which display manager is in use : Lightdm for Xubuntu and newer versions of plain Ubuntu vs. Gdm for older Ubuntu and of course Ubuntu Gnome, and on top of that there may be a bug in recent versions of Gnome that block it no matter what.
Of course, other than that, you also need to adjust xauth
Now, from your command lines above, I'm not sure exactly what you are trying to achieve. One computer is supposed to be the local master and the other the remote slave, even if they are obviously next to each other.
Here, it seems that your laptlop is the local master, and your desktop the remote slave. Fine.
So you're lauching the X11 server on desktop, which is fine as long as there is not already a X11 server running there.
But where are the displays you expect something to happen on ? One has not ip address, the other's is localhost, so both are local, which means remote, seeing that you've just SSHed in to the (remote) desktop.
Also note that X11 terminology is a bit confusing. The 'server' is the machine where the screen is attached to, whereas the 'client' is the one doing the heavy lifting and passing the results to be displayed.
Hope this helps someone somehow ...