I spent a couple of evenings on this, and it's getting a bit frustrating since I managed to had it working on my previous Ubuntu (MANY years ago).
I'd like to have an vnc server running on my server at any time (including login screen) to remotely connect and login. Not a different session: share the same session I would see on the physical display of my server and log on to it remotely via VNC in a private network (aka home).
I understand it's a combination of XDMCP, GDM3, initd and VNC configurations, but I don't have enough experience to tune the various howtos I found online to work for ubuntu 18.04.
These seems promising links: https://lists.debian.org/debian-user/2017/04/msg00529.html https://codeghar.wordpress.com/2009/06/11/remote-login-with-gdm-and-vnc-on-fedora-11/ https://wiki.openindiana.org/oi/4.7+Remote+Graphical+Login:+Using+Xvnc+and+gdm+for+One-Shot+sessions
Right now (in case anyone else is going crazy like me), I installed nomachine and it took the grand total of 2 minutes to setup and it works as I wanted (including iOS clients!): https://www.nomachine.com/ ---bittersweet ¯_(ツ)_/¯