This news article doesn’t answer my question, as it alleged “lawyers typically don’t represent themselves in court” as the reason ― but some lawyers successfully represent themselves, like Lord Sumption. Why did Jason Crawford hire Fife Whiteside? Why couldn't Crawford garnish himself?
Just as Meta ignored Crawford’s lawsuit, so it also ignored his judgment. But the lawyer knew how to collect: By hiring another lawyer, who hired a private investigator, who tracked down a Meta bank account to garnish. “Well, it turns out they bank with Bank of America,” Crawford added in his Facebook post. “We garnished their account, and just like that, I collected the entire judgment with interest.” Speaking Tuesday by phone, he said he had no special plans for the $52,325.89, the precise amount on the check he posted a photo of. He was paid through the Muscogee Superior Court Clerk’s office, which received the funds garnished in a filing by Columbus attorney Fife Whiteside. “It’s really one of the strangest pieces of work I’ve ever been involved in,” said Whiteside, who’s been practicing law for 47 years. It was new to Crawford, too. He’s been a lawyer for 30 years. “Frankly, I’ve never had to go out and collect,” he said. Whiteside said Meta disregarded not only the suit and the judgment, but also the post-judgment discovery, when it was supposed to give Crawford information on its bank accounts. “They just ignored it,” he said. Because lawyers typically don’t represent themselves in court, Crawford hired Whiteside to handle the garnishment, and Whiteside hired an investigator to get Meta’s banking information, to file on an account. Finding that Meta used Bank of America, which has offices in Columbus, he was able to target one of those Meta accounts, he said. It was strange to treat an international corporation like someone who refused to pay for a car, Whiteside said: “They really feel like great big deadbeats.”
